The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
