my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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