I smell stomach acid.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
