hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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