what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
