He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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