we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
