what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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