the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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