He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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