The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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