so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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