Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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