someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
