This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
