my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize