Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
