we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
