We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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