Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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