i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
