I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
