I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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