my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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