She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
