through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just gargled with NyQuil
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
