The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
