haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
