yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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