she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
