I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
