dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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