His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
