can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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