My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
When are your genitals available?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
