That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
