My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize