I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
