so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
