Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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