I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
