I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
wow bdsm is so cute
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