I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
