fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
