Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
