Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
