This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Small penises have feelings too.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
