i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
