i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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