Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
