Screwed.edu
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
