I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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