I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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