thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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