D3 body, D1 cock
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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