i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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