I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
