What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
