3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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