im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
