Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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