you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
