return my video game
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
