Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
