so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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